“It was actually fine that the relationship with my ex-wife ended. That sounds harsh – especially because we also share three children together – but it was water and fire for us. I spent half the week at the football club, she at the hockey. We had a kind of co-parenting in the same house.
When she told me she was in love with a clubmate, I wasn’t even surprised. We had both unconsciously taken different paths and hadn’t even missed each other. Divorce was therefore without any hassle, which was an advantage.”
“It wasn’t until I met Merel that I felt how I longed for being together. The sincere attention, the curiosity about each other’s lives and the babble of the day: I share everything with Merel again. She feels very close, even though she lives two provinces away .
How we got matched is still a miracle, because I had really set my search area on Tinder to 25 kilometers. But she is here and I hope she stays as long as possible.”
Mini vacations
“With Merel it’s lighthearted. Being together comes naturally. Our child-free weekends feel like mini holidays and offer all the convenience and time to do fun things without the hassle. After drinks we spontaneously move on to the cinema, we take the trouble to meet the other person with to surprise a picnic, or a concert. The household will wait.”
“Yet our relationship sometimes seems a bit hopeless. Because of those big gestures and the distance, we don’t get around to the nitty-gritty. We can do very well together with a book on the couch, certainly, but it all has to be in that happen one weekend.
We both have children and can only see each other every other week. With almost two hours of travel time, you won’t have dinner together on a Thursday. Dragging the children to the other person on Saturday is also not feasible. I do not want that either. They like her, not that much, but they also have their own lives with sports, jobs and friends. They also deserve my undivided attention, because we only see each other half the week.”
197 km apart
“Sometimes I miss Merel so much, then my courage sinks. Because it will remain that way for the next six years, and the question is whether we can still do it after that, living together. We are so used to our own space and rooted in our own lives, 197 kilometers apart. How do we ever put that together? I long for more of her, for even more Merel in my life, but a year later all possibilities for that seem to have already been achieved.”
“At the same time, I really feel that Merel is it for me. She is my girl, the first person I think of when I wake up and with whom I want to share everything that happens. ‘Maybe this will help us keep it fun longer,'” she said recently, and I think she’s right.
Irritations often arise from obligations where someone does not feel seen, and we see each other a lot. When we are together, but also through the long conversations during the week.”
Slats in love
“We normally call each other on the way home from work and then we discuss everything and laugh our asses off. Then it’s as if she’s sitting next to me in the car. I’m really looking forward to all the wonderful weekends we’ll share together. I just didn’t expect that I would find love so tough. But, as Merel always says: we will find our way.”
Wanted: Love Lessons
For the Love Lessons section on RTL News Lifestyle we are looking for beautiful, vulnerable, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with your hand in your own bosom. In the end, did you turn out to be the one with a fear of commitment? Should you never have emigrated for love or did a blended family prove to be an illusion after all? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you all about it. You can tell anonymously. Email to: [email protected].
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