Every week we share a candid and honest love lesson from a reader. Because love only becomes more beautiful when you share. Now that Liesbeth (49) has finally found the love she has longed for for years, she can sometimes become wistful at the thought of lost time.
“As it is with Suze, I hoped that my second round in love would be. Sweet and laughing. Helping and hearing. Fun and horny. A mix of everything, but above all loving.
In a month we will celebrate our second anniversary together and it just keeps getting better. Our children are now even asking when we will all meet up again. I never dared to hope for that.”
“Eight years ago, my ex and I let go of each other, in good harmony. We were still friends, but we had not been lovers for a while. And we allowed each other and ourselves that. Years followed with life and love lessons, sex adventures and just-not-relationships. Until I met Suze. I immediately knew that I had gold. Ha, I sound like a guy. Suze is not my property, but oh how happy I am that she is mine and I hers.”
Our past lives
“We often chat late into the night when we see each other. That usually works out every week, sometimes a little more often. It won’t be anything more than chatting for the time being, with two sets of growing children in two different cities. It also makes us spend our days to cherish together even more. As we talk about our past lives, we regularly discover that we attended the same concerts and festivals at the same time, in the same summer in London, and that we only had one. handshake being away from the same people.
We could have just met earlier. Maybe that happened too, but we didn’t remember it because we both still thought we were straight at the time. Maybe we were married. With the partners we had children with, we didn’t dare or didn’t feel the need, but now we do. With Suze I want to celebrate love and show it to everyone.”
“How would our lives have turned out if we had had children together? Would we have been able to spare two broken families? Would we have experienced parenthood differently? Or would our love have also been tormented by practical needs?
Musing about our life course, I feel melancholy. I really no longer wish to have children, nor am I at the age for one, but I feel the love and curiosity for them in all its intensity. No one can love your child as much as the person you share parenting with. With Suze’s warmth and playfulness, that seems to me to be the most beautiful form of a warm nest.”
“The realization that we have missed so many years together sometimes makes me sad.”
“We are not going to make it a blended family, we are very clear about that. With six of us in one house, pulling children from their familiar environment for our love is not the parenting we want. Of those under forty, they are absolutely number one, but of everyone above that, that’s Suze. And that’s me for her.”
Wasted time
“But the realization that we have missed so many years together sometimes makes me sad. Wasted time and unnecessary heartache. But hey, what good is looking back? There’s a good chance that we wouldn’t have been able to see each other before for what we had. now, insecure and searching as we were, building a career and a family.
Now we have to give the best of ourselves to each other, including childless time, lived mistakes and self-knowledge. “The great thing is that we are now showing our children how rich a relationship can be,” she said recently, and that’s exactly how it is. The two of us, the three of us, and the six of us: every day and in every form I find a nugget of gold somewhere. Fortunately, half of my life is still ahead of me.”
Wanted: Love Lessons
For the Love Lessons section on RTL News Lifestyle we are looking for beautiful, vulnerable, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with your hand in your own bosom. In the end, did you turn out to be the one with a fear of commitment? Should you never have emigrated for love or did a blended family prove to be an illusion after all? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you all about it. You can tell anonymously. Mail to: [email protected].
