Joan Franka, known for, among other things The Voice of Holland, regrets that during her participation in the Eurovision Song Contest in 2012 she did things ‘that she might not want to do’ and trusted people ‘who couldn’t be trusted’. The singer said this in tears on Thursday evening Better than ever. “I blame myself for not following my intuition,” she told presenter Martijn Krabbé.
Franka was seen in the first season of at the age of 20 The Voice of Holland. After her participation, she worked with producers with whom she also collaborated during the talent show. She wrote the song during that time You and me, the song with which her manager would have registered her for the National Song Contest. There Franka competed against others The Voicecandidates. “That was actually the first breaking point for me. What hurt is my manager said to me, hey Joan, look at yourself. You really don’t look. You really need to lose weight. Because look next to you. Don’t you want to be like that?”
Franka said on Thursday evening that she realized that her performance at the Eurovision song contest was ‘perhaps not the best performance’. “But a lot of things preceded it, so that performance did not go as it might normally go.” For example, Franka found it difficult that her mother and sister, with whom she formed a ‘trinity’, were not allowed to go to Baku for the first two weeks. “I begged, like: can my mother come along?” She got a no over and over again. “But I was allowed to bring a stylist and someone for my hair and someone for the make-up, even a nail stylist if I wanted.”
The much-discussed Indian headdress that Franka wore during the performance also turns out to be a sensitive subject. ,,I didn’t want to eat it in Azerbaijan at all. I didn’t want that. I thought: I’m done with it, I don’t want this. But yes, we will do that adornment, they said. I also didn’t get the feeling that I could really say no to that.”
awakening
The second week Franka’s mother and sister were present, but the singer barely had time to see them due to all kinds of obligations, including parties. Moreover, according to Franka, they were not allowed to be backstage on the day of her performance. Franka was there alone with her manager, who visited her just before showtime. ,,She said: It’s you and me, we did this together.” As a result, Franka woke up ‘from a kind of bad dream’ that she had been living. “I thought: I don’t want this at all. I don’t want to stand here with you. I want to stand here with my mother, my sister. This was the moment I thought: who am I? Where am I? What am I doing? What am I here for?”
Quote
I was all alone and at that moment I really thought I was going to die
Joan Franka
After her performance, Franka entered the dressing room. There was her manager, who allegedly said that Franka had “ruined everything.” At the end of the day, Franka was in her hotel room throwing up because she was “so exhausted.” “I was completely on my own and at that moment I really thought I was going to die.” When she tried to call someone from the crew, no one would have picked up. Upon returning home, Franka no longer wanted to work with her team. But there was a problem: to get out of the contract, she had to buy herself out. The first offer that the record label made with which Franka could buy out was 30,000 euros, but the singer had no money. The offer eventually went down, after which someone else bought her out.
Luba the Baroness
All in all, Franka has not been able to make music for two years. Today, Franka still blames herself for signing a contract she didn’t want to sign. “I blame myself for not following my intuition, for running past myself, for being afraid to share this for a long time.”
After her participation, Franka created the alter ego Luba the Baroness. “Because I just didn’t dare to exist as myself anymore.” The alter ego helped her regain her self-confidence. “Luba really saved me and I think a part of her will always live in me. Now, a few years ago, I decided that I’m just Joan Franka again. That is also very liberating.”
Krabbé wondered whether Franka felt like singing again. ,,Yes, I really feel like singing, a lot has changed there too. I’ve matured, my voice is more formed, I think there’s more soul in my voice too. I think I sing more as I really am,” she concluded.
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