From gross accusations such as ‘bribery’ and ‘leaking of information’ to ‘inappropriate statements made to obtain payment of an invoice’. That’s what’s left of the big bubble of accusations against former lawyer and presenter Khalid Kasem.
He had to stop his presentation work, saw his past dredged up and had to hope for a favorable outcome. At least that’s how I imagine it, because even when you are 100 percent sure that accusations are not true, your brain works overtime because ‘what if’ there is something you don’t know about, ‘what if’ they come up with something that they don’t is true, but is believed. ‘What if’. The most tiring question in times of crisis, because ‘what if’ is a skittish voice that continues to haunt you like a scary, nervous shadow and in which you see all kinds of monstrous scenarios looming.
‘Inappropriate statements made to obtain payment of an invoice’. Are there actually freelancers who haven’t even swore a lot because clients just wouldn’t budge? I once had a producer who wouldn’t pay me anymore because he felt I had ‘had enough’. You can bet that I then made inappropriate statements and ultimately the NVJ [Nederlandse Vereniging van Journalisten] have brought in.
In personal circumstances we can and may express ourselves differently. Unsubtle, harsh, downright hurtful. That’s what private life is for, to discuss everything in freedom and safety that then ends up in the garbage bin. Unfinished ideas, unquenched anger, frustration, rowdiness, bad jokes.
Then, when strangers dig through that trash can for something juicy, they’ll find exactly that: discarded thoughts, smoldering remains of an unfinished conversation. Not necessarily a realistic representation of who you are, but a snapshot that does not tell the whole story. Because what the peeping toms do not get to experience are the follow-up conversations, the new ideas, perhaps felt regret or a punchline.
In the years that I worked as an interpreter, I translated countless tapped conversations. I had to get used to it in the beginning and get over the fundamental objections I had against it. It is very uncomfortable to be a secret participant in a conversation that is not intended for your ears.
I entered a world that I did not want to be part of under any circumstances, got to know people through their telephone conversations and saw how some colleagues eagerly wanted to extract something ‘objectionable’ from the most innocent exchanges to justify their presence. But I also learned that conversations can take unexpected turns and if you don’t get everything, you also miss essential turns.
I understand that secret recordings can sometimes be decisive; major political crimes and social issues are exposed and that is of enormous importance.
But if this case proves anything, it’s that you should be careful with private conversations. We have the right to our own space where our thoughts, raw and unfiltered, can flow freely and without consequences.
And it should also be less about that urge to score and that panting chasing of people you don’t like. It’s not nice to have hateful nonsense poured over you, especially when you’ve done nothing wrong. That leaves big scars.
I hope Kasem resumes his presenting work. The best revenge is to make sure you’re okay.
Hassnae Bouazza is a writer, journalist, columnist and program maker.
To share
Email the editor
