Carlijn (30) has MS and had a miscarriage fourteen times

Friends

Friends around her do get pregnant during that period. On the one hand she is very happy for them, on the other hand she also wants to be home after trying for so long. “My best friend and I were pregnant at the same time. Things went wrong for me after 12.5 weeks. She now has two beautiful, healthy children. They are so very sweet. I am in their lives a lot and the friendship is stronger than ever, but it was really difficult to get along with each other at times.”

Her best friend is still her best friend, but Carlijn has also lost many friends in recent years. “Many friends also turned into informal caregivers. Where they used to come for tea, they now come because you need help showering. These are the difficult sides of the disease that many people do not understand or see. That all happens behind closed doors.”

Painful comments

Meanwhile, she also receives constant comments about her illness and her attempts to have children. “They were probably not meant to be ugly, but they did hurt. Like someone who said when I was pregnant and wearing white pants that I had to be careful not to lose the baby now. People really don’t think before they say something. I’m from Rotterdam. People are nice and direct here, including me, but some comments can be so painful.”

She has currently put her desire to have children on the back burner. “If I had had a baby, I would be the best mother in the whole world. But everything happens for a reason. I hope it comes someday. Fortunately, I still have a very child-rich life. I have been little Daan’s aunt for six months now.”

Positive future

For now, she is fully focused on recovery. That’s going well. “Until two months ago I was still blind; not anymore. I try to see the positive things in life. Life is so much better than the bad days with MS. Fortunately, I have the right people around me who hang up the streamers for me. I don’t always manage that myself, but the people around me always make it a party.”

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