Singer Billie Eilish (22) has taken to the internet with particularly frank statements about her love for sex and self-pleasure. Why does she share this and what can we learn from her openness, according to experts? And would it be okay for everyone to masturbate in front of the mirror like Eilish?
Billie Eilish knew she was attracted to women when she had a strong desire to feel ‘a face in her vagina’ last year, she says in Rolling Stone. The singer shows openness that you rarely see with big stars. Even Boy George, one of the most outspoken artists of his generation, is watching. “I like to put linseed oil on my salad,” he jokes on X about his most exciting outpouring.
You see that giggly atmosphere more often. Anyone who regularly visits TikTok or Instagram will know the video of the Norwegian singer Aurora. She confesses that her hobbies are painting, reading, cooking and masturbating. The fragment is described as a joke, but Eilish is serious. It’s not for her too much informationas Boy George says, but necessary honesty.
Why is she sharing this?
Because when women are comfortable with their sexuality and talk openly about it, she says people start to frown. Talking about masturbation would be completely taboo. “I think that needs to change,” says Eilish, who therefore shares a lot. That sex is her favorite topic of conversation and she would have her diploma long and wide if you could get a PhD in masturbation, for example. And that she prefers to pleasure herself in front of the mirror, because it makes her feel good about her body.
Debby Gerritsen, A.Dcolumnist and creator of the podcast About love, is happy that Eilish’s young fans have her as a role model. “Talking about sex is difficult for many people. Then they do it superficially, or in the third person. Almost all of us masturbate, but never say: I was a little late, because I was masturbating for a while. The fact that she is breaking open that taboo is great.” It is also valuable, says sexologist Nynke Nijman, known for the podcast Sex, relationships and love. “Certainly in America, sexuality is hardly discussed. If fans grow up in a restrictive, conservative environment, it can be helpful to hear that sex is normal.”
Eilish advises everyone to also ‘pull themselves’ and talk about it. Should we indeed be more open? Be careful with that, Nijman warns. She and Gerritsen cannot imagine that every woman will now share masturbation stories on social media. Especially when it comes to Eilish’s young fans.
“They feel much less comfortable in their own sexuality and do not understand the consequences,” says Nijman. “If you share something like that, you will be slut-shamed or you will get horny men in your DMs,” Gerritsen adds. Nijman: “And Billie is not a normal 22-year-old girl, but famous, apparently self-confident and will not be held accountable for statements about her sexuality.” So talking is good, but start with your circle of friends, for example.
Everyone masturbate in front of the mirror?
Eilish swears by masturbating in front of the mirror, would that be good for all of us? “Touching yourself, daring to look at yourself and helping yourself to arousal and an orgasm can work very well,” says Nijman. But don’t blindly imitate the singer. “Young fans can think: if my idol does it like that, it’s the truth. But everyone is unique. We can learn from her that we explore what we like, without outside judgments and stereotypes. Not that we have to do exactly the same thing.”
She wouldn’t try it herself, but Gerritsen sees advantages in looking at yourself. “Porn and the associated perfect bodies are the standard in the minds of many people, while reality is different. As a result, women sometimes feel ashamed of something like their labia. If you know what you really look like and accept that, that is positive.”
The mirror can be an example of ‘messing around’ to discover what you like, says Gerritsen. “That Billie shows that is very important. Her core message is: get to know yourself and love yourself. That is very nice, because then you can also indicate your boundaries better.”
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