The father is the first man in a daughter’s life. The way he approaches her has an impact that goes far beyond childhood and adolescence. Nevertheless, the father is a little-researched subject in psychology, writes the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung. Since they began studying parents in the 1920s, developmental psychologists have focused on the mother. The assumption is that she is the first, most necessary attachment figure for the child. The father came second. Some researchers even attributed harmful influences to him. From 1970 to about 2000, studies examined the father as a “perpetrator,” as responsible for abuse within the family. The “absent father” was also a common motif. In 2000, a book was published under this title, and in the same year another researcher described “The Longing for the Father”.
Inge Seiffge-Krenke has helped to change the image of the father. The developmental psychologist has been researching fathers for 25 years.
For young children it makes a difference whether they play with their father or mother, she told the FAZ. According to research, playing fathers seek more physical contact. Dads have pillow fights, chase around the house and climb trees. They are more likely to put children in situations that are challenging and a bit frightening. This is how Inge Seiffge-Krenke describes it: “A sensitive father notices when it becomes too much and regulates the game back down.” Regardless of gender, this is how children learn to deal with fear or aggression.
Assess the risks
Encouraging daughters in their autonomy is a central function of the father. “I can’t do it”, “I don’t dare to do it” – they often do not accept such statements. “Fathers convey the message: ‘You can do it, be confident! Or they make demands like: ‘Brace yourself,’” says Seiffge-Krenke. Girls in particular benefit from their father believing in them. Researchers have observed these autonomy-enhancing behaviors in fathers rather than mothers.
Development between two poles
Studies have shown that parents adopt polar patterns. In stereotypical terms, this means that mothers are better informed about their daughters’ daily lives. They delve deeper into their emotional world and discuss physical changes during puberty. Fathers talk less to their daughters, show less fear of them and trust them more. According to these stereotypes, children fluctuate between the autonomy-restricting mother and the autonomy-promoting father. According to Seiffge-Krenke, the poles offer children an “important development stimulus”. Daughters and sons are somewhere in between.
How fathers contribute to the household affects daughters in other ways, too — as a 2014 study from the University of British Columbia suggests. A team of social psychologists interviewed 326 children between the ages of 7 and 13 about their career aspirations. The researchers used a questionnaire to analyze the role views of the parents. In addition, mothers and fathers saw a female or male face on the computer, to which they assigned attributes such as “home” or “work”, as well as images of a laundry basket or desk. The researchers derived unconscious assumptions about gender roles from the combinations.
Housewife or astronaut?
The result: both implicit assumptions and the father’s behavior influence daughters’ career aspirations. The less a father associated the female face with household qualities and the more time he said he spent washing, washing dishes or ironing, the more likely the daughters were to see themselves in a less typically female profession, such as astronaut or computer scientist. The researchers found no such correlation for sons.
In her book “Fathers and Daughters,” author Susann Sitzler uses her own story to shed light on the functions a father plays in his daughter’s life. She writes: “A good father makes his superiority available so that his daughter can grow. He passes on knowledge, tips and tricks, and his daughter falls back on them early in life, if she wants to.
