In the first year of the Thomas a Kempis College I was in the class with Lando Markhorst (54). A few years later he became prince of carnival association ‘de Tomaat’, I was expelled from school. A few months ago I was reminded of its existence. I got a message from one of his best friends. ‘Brakenhoff’ – in Arnhem they like to call each other by their surname – had also been on ‘Thomas’.
Was I available for hire?
Lando Markhorst had sold his company and started a sabbatical. Contrary to everyone’s expectations, I was the only Dutch celebrity, because that’s how they see me in Arnhem, having left our school. Did I want to give a speech at a surprise party? Now I have few limits in commercially milking myself, but when I come out of a box as a clown at the party of an ex-classmate, I draw a line.
Brakenhoff kept calling.
Would I want to record a podcast with Lando? He added that Lando was quite funny and that he also liked to give him ‘a place in the sunlight’. And again: it could cost a bit.
A column about Lando Markhorst then?
I replied that I had few memories of Lando Markhorst, except that he had been a carnival prince.
Brakenhoff couldn’t believe it.
Just take Lando to Vitesse then?
“Is there something wrong with Lando Markhorst?” I emailed back after the umpteenth request. “Is he sick or dying? Or just fell on the back of his head?”
The answer was: “No, but he loves attention and he might want to be a columnist or famous himself.”
I recommended purchasing a column course from my girlfriend for Lando.
Last week I found it in our living room. The course had just ended. He had learned a lot. Also about himself, he no longer wanted to be a columnist. We were a bit uncomfortable with each other. He hadn’t changed since seventh grade, even the shoes were the same. We exchanged some memories. He had been carnival prince at the age of sixteen, ‘de Tomato’ had been disbanded a few years ago.
On Friday I played in the Arnhemse Schouwburg. Afterwards I met Lando Markhorst in an Arnhem café. His best friend from class 1D was there again.
He thanked me for my input at his farewell party. Brakenhoff had arranged Youp van ‘t Hek as a replacement, but the highlight had been the reading of my rejections. We drank a few beers and then I left them with their Arnhem stories. His last words were: ‘my name in a newspaper would be a highlight’.
Willing to send an invoice again.
Marcel van Roosmalen writes an exchange column with Ellen Deckwitz here.
A version of this article also appeared in the newspaper of November 21, 2022
