Wilke regularly preaches in church about ‘being yourself’ and ‘God loving you for who you are’. “I believe all that, but at the same time I started to feel so hypocritical. It almost felt like a double life.”
She is referring to the silence about her orientation in her work at EO Beam and as a speaker in church. “That has been simmering in recent years and the documentary is the result.”
In the documentary ‘When am I going to tell them?’ Wilke, in her own words, wants to be courageous and open about her orientation. “The conversation about this is not going well online and neither is it in some churches,” she explains. “You have fierce opponents and you have activists who say that you should joyfully accept everything, but both groups exclude each other. I want to be in the middle, just like Jesus.”
According to Wilke, many people leave the church when they tell them they are not straight. “Unfortunately, the Christian world is often unsafe. I also feel unsafe, but I still want to show who I am.” Her faith supports her in this, she says. “I have doubted everything, my orientation, this documentary, the whole process, but not God’s love for me.”
Colleagues and her employer knew about her relationship with a woman before the documentary. Since the documentary has been online, Wilke says he has also been flooded with encouraging responses from strangers. “Then you actually notice how many people are without judgement. They say to me: how good that you are doing this. It makes me feel less alone.”
But of course there are people who react differently. “It’s different from the norm and people find that strange or exciting. That’s allowed, but think for three seconds before you react.”
‘Do better’
Wilke believes that Christians should make a better effort to discuss this topic with each other. “We really need to start talking about this more normally, even if we disagree with each other. Show that to the outside world.”
She finds respect the most important in those conversations. “It is sometimes painful to hear that I am doing the wrong thing, especially from someone I don’t even know. But if someone addresses me in a respectful way based on his or her beliefs, we are allowed to disagree.”
Her documentary can be seen here.
 concealed her orientation: ‘Double life’){kind=link}